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Toothpick Advice

Friday, February 8th, 2008 10:30 am by RCW
Offer of the Day (02/08/2008):
Taste-T-Picks Natural HOT Cinnamon Flavored Toothpicks (4 pack)
User Review:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)

I bought a 4-pack of these cinnamon flavored toothpicks a couple of months ago, and keep them with me on most occasions. I keep them on my desk at work too. It’s a daily occurrence that an engineer stops by after lunch and “borrows” one. The cinnamon flavor in these toothpicks lasts VERY long and leaves your mouth feeling fantastic. Plus, after you’re done, you can flick them at people that you are disgusted with. We also refer to these as “chewing sticks”.

FEATURES AND BENEFITS:

  • Sugar-free & Fat-free
  • All natural virgin birchwood
  • Infused with natural cinnamon oil
  • 75 toothpicks per pack
  • Used often to help smokers quit smoking

DIRECTIONS FOR USE:

  • Use after eating to remove food lodged between teeth
  • Flick them at people who annoy you

Toothpick Advice & How to Avoid Someone:

Let me lay down a scenario you can play out at your convenience once your Taste-T-Picks Cinnamon Flavored Toothpicks have arrived. When you are in the middle of chewing on a Taste-T-Picks Cinnamon Flavored Toothpick and someone stops by to discuss something with you (for example, your neighbor coming to scold you on how unkempt your lawn is), keep that toothpick IN YOUR MOUTH. This knuckle-head … we’ll call him “Booker T” for the sake of this example … came to interrupt you during your precious “stick chewing time”. Just go on picking your teeth while “Booker T” talks about something you have absolutely no interest in. Let your mind roam freely as you clean your teeth. In the middle of “Booker T’s” rambling diatribe, rudely interrupt him by flicking your toothpick on the ground. Immediately drop to your knees, bow your head to the ground, and pound the ground violently with your fists. With the coarsest voice you can muster, scream the following speech that I have prepared especially for you:

“Mother Earth … I have returned to thee what is rightfully yours! (pause dramatically here for effect) Your woodland progeny has NOT perished in vain! I give thee back your wayward son!”

BTW - remember that last scene of Planet of the Apes (1968) with Charlton Heston? … that’s the type of emotion we’re trying to conjure here. Remember to stay prostrate on the ground, fists pounding the floor, maniacally screaming that last line over and over until “Booker T” decides to leave.

After this display, “Booker T” will be so impressed at the lengths you’ve gone to for clean teeth. He’ll feel too self-conscious about his own inferior teeth cleaning skills that he won’t ever talk to you or look your way again.

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