The Greatest Soup Recipe Ever - The Devil's Gruel

One night while watching the movie The Exorcist, I received inspiration on what could possibly be the GREATEST soup recipe in the world.

In one of the best scenes in the movie, Linda Blair’s character, Regan¹, started to projectile vomit; almost like how an oasis in the desert springs forth life saving water. The vomit looked to be this delightfully appetizing, green substance with beautiful texture. I immediately thought to myself:

What on earth can that precious substance spewing from her mouth be?

Whatever it was, I had to find it, bottle it up, patent it… basically do whatever it took to have it because it looked delicious! I remember noticing that some of this “liquid gold” actually got into the mouth of the assistant priest (see pic)…what a lucky guy!

MMMM MMMM Good!
- Assistant Priest

Through fool-proof research conducted on “the internet”, I learned that it was nothing more than split pea soup. For the next few weeks, I stocked up on all the canned split pea soup I could get my hands on. I then experimented and taste tested them all. I mixed in some other ingredients and ended up with my award-winning recipe that I call “The Devil’s Gruel“.

How to Make “The Devil’s Gruel”

1. Open a can of Progresso’s Green Split Pea Soup and pour it into a pot
2. Cut up 1 or 2 Oscar Meyer hot dogs and place them into the pot; or you can steam them in a hotdog steamer - Spam also works if you don’t have hot dogs handy²
3. Bring the concoction to a boil and serve with crackers
4. The power of Christ compels you!

Thanksgiving Advice from OfferOfTheDay.com

The Devil’s Gruel makes a savory complement to turkey, ham and mashed potatoes and therefore is the perfect Thanksgiving side dish. Try strolling into your family Thanksgiving party with this dish in your hands. While you place your pot of steaming green “pseudo puke” onto the Thanksgiving dinner table, remember the following: There’s nothing like a little “Devil’s Gruel” to bring a family together. Don’t be surprised if this dish is the first thing to go. Just remember to stick a label on the lid of the pot that reads “The Devil’s Gruel” in thick black lettering to get everyone’s appetites going.

Check out this recipe and some of our other recipes at GroupRecipes.com

1. the sexy thing in the blue dress [^]
2. I personally just tear up the hot dogs with my hands - that’s what Regan would do [^]