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Don't Be a Homophobe! Munching on Salty Nuts is Perfectly Healthy.

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007 4:00 am by BGW
Offer of the Day (09/04/2007):
Salted Almonds
by TryMyNuts.com
User Review:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

Everyone knows that salty nuts taste great! Almonds, the crown jewels of the nut family, tend to be one of the more expensive nuts, usually costing upwards of $10/lb. However, this “nutty” deal from TryMyNuts.com is a perfect part of a healthy diet for the budget conscious. Plus, those of you who love to buy in bulk will get the opportunity to munch upon the most nuts you ever have in your short miserable lives.

These perfectly salted almonds are packed with Zinc, vitamin E, fiber, and PROTEIN. If you go overboard and buy too much, don’t worry. These nuts never go bad.

Let me lay down a scenario you can play out at your convenience once your TryMyNuts.com order has arrived.

Sit at work and wait until the jerk in the adjacent cube opens up one of those puny little 6-oz. Blue Diamond almond cans, then feverishly tear open the TryMyNuts.com monster can and start poppin’ these salty nuts in your mouth. Gradually start to throw the nuts higher and higher in the air (past the top of your cube wall even), while catching them in your mouth as they fall. At this point, your co-workers will begin to wonder “what the hell is your problem?“. As the nuts start to continuously bounce off your chin, jubilantly exclaim like a young porn-starlet, “I absolutely LOVE salty chin nuts!”. You’ll be the envy of your ENTIRE office.

The nuts arrive in a big yellow can with a removable red lid1. Shipping is fast and extremely convenient. A shipment of salty nuts will usually take a few business days. Remember, you don’t have to bring the WHOLE can with you when you go out. Just pour a bunch into a brown paper bag so that your nut sack can go wherever you want it to go. For example, you can cradle your “nut sack” in your hand while watching late night T.V., so if the urge arises, you can have some salty nuts to munch upon. You can dangle your “nut sack” in front of your wife’s face, as if to tempt her while she’s starving herself on her latest “fad diet”. You can also drop your “nut sack” on your officemate’s desk … or better yet, lay it gently next to his or her keyboard so that they’ll have “a little something from you” to nibble on while they’re working on that weekly business report.

However which way you want to eat these salty nuts is perfectly fine by us. Who are we to judge? All we know is - the salted almonds from TryMyNuts.com are divine and provide a healthy energy source. Not only do we get a chuckle out of their domain name, but we definitely recommend their salty nuts here at OfferOfTheDay.com. Almonds also come in handy in “other situations“.

OfferOfTheDay.com Advice:

And for all the gentlemen out there, next time you see a fine looking lady, go up to her and ask her this question:

You want a CD?

If she says, “YES”, “No”, or even “Huh?”, reply with this little number:

You wanna see deez nuts?

Then, flash her the TryMyNuts.com can of salted almonds and she’ll be ALL OVER YOU like a lampshade.

Do you have a “salty nuts” scenario to share? Please Submit in the Comment Section Below:

  1. Since it effectively prolongs the nut-munching experience, many of our readers, some of them guys, seem to love the freshness brought on by the red lid [^]
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5 USER COMMENTS:

By bgwjerk on 09/04/2007 at 9:37 am -

Ya, one of my good friends Chris loves salty nuts. He also loves protein.

By Mr. Cruel on 09/04/2007 at 1:49 pm -

I grab handfuls of nuts before a workout and pop them in my mouth. It gives me the energy I need to get to that next “step”.

[…] a handful of almonds located conveniently at your feet. Pop a few in your mouth for that extra healthy energy […]

By Editor’s Top 10 Posts on 10/09/2007 at 10:28 pm -

[…] Don’t Be a Homophobe! Munching on Salty Nuts is Perfectly Healthy. […]

By “Almonds are Good!” - The Furry Jerk on 11/29/2007 at 4:07 am -

[…] are the Furry Jerk’s favorite snack. See our “nutty” review of these almonds here. Almonds, which are considered a “superfood“, also come in handy when celebrating a […]

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