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Offer of the Day - The mentally retarded little red-headed step-cousin twice removed of Woot!

Chewbacca Jr.'s Ballad to Vitamin-C

Monday, August 20th, 2007 9:00 am by admin

Monkey eating an orangeJust like it was the destiny of that orange to be eaten by a little punk-ass monkey with a blank stare on its face, we believe it is the destiny of this website, OfferOfTheDay.com (OTD1 for short), to bring you one unique or interesting offer each and every day. We will make every effort to make your experience on our site as enjoyable as that dilapidated orange is to that baby monkey … who, by the way, looks like its got nothing better to do. Hopefully, just like our friend “Chewbacca Jr.” over there, you too will have bits of orange pulp on your lips - that, or a content grin.

OfferOfTheDay.com will bring you practical, interesting, or funny offers on a daily basis. However, once in a while, the offers will just plain stink - just like the citrus-riddled fur on that diminutive rascal sitting down enjoying lunch. On occasion, we will also offer only our advice. This “advice” will help you lead a more productive and meaningful life; basically, the complete opposite type of life that the lazy, but scurvy-free primate sitting on that ledge is living. Just trust us on this for now!

And to be frank, we’re a bunch of spoiled jerks with engineering degrees, exquisite taste, “raw” senses of humor, and an uncontrollable hankering to openly lambaste a perfectly innocent little “fuzzbucket” just minding its own business. By the way, we also hate crowded shopping malls, handling bacteria-infested money, and fondling defiled pieces of fruit; the latter is exactly what that varmint has in its grubby little hands. Did you happen to notice that it’s eating the damn peel too? Gross! Please excuse the anti-monkey digressions, but it’s just too easy. With that said, we prefer the world of virtual cash and online shopping carts. Through the years, we have spent a lot of money on great stuff, and have acquired a vast knowledge-base of useful information, and the ambition of this website is to relay the best of the best to you - one painful day at a time.

Besides the obvious question, “Why are you jerks picking on that poor little monkey?“, you might also ask a more pertinent question, “Why do you jerks only have one daily offer?” Well to answer the second question, besides the domain name, we enjoy drawing things out slowly … kind of like that damn monkey giving a half-assed effort in trying to finish off a piece of fruit that’s half the size of its helmet-shaped head. Plus, going slowly builds suspense and is part of the intrigue of this silly site.

So tune in every day, or whenever the heck you feel like it … and be prepared to see a great or lackluster offer. For all you blogging Nut-Huggers2, keyboard warriors, and insulted “PETA-types”, become an OTD member and start berating us for our “so-called” terrible choices OR for the fact that we showed NO LOVE to “Monkey-Boy” over there. But don’t get carried away though because, whether you guys like monkeys or not, we know that eventually, you’ll all become Offer Of The Day “dot com” Nut-Huggers.

STAY TUNED! We will start the “monkey free” offerings on September 4, 2007. Please spread the word!

  1. if you think it should be OOTD, you’re S-O-L [^]
  2. Commonly spelled “nuthugger”; an individual who worships someone or something, sometimes to the point of excess; also known as a “fanboy” or “fangirl”. Not to be confused with the alternate definition: tight male underwear or a “banana hammock”. [^]
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10 USER COMMENTS:

By Listat on 08/14/2007 at 12:59 pm -

Monkey-Boy and Chewbacca Jr. are all great descriptions for that Vitamin-C deficient varmint.
Varmint=an objectionable or undesirable animal.

By Mr. Cruel on 08/18/2007 at 6:34 am -

I have the urge to smack that monkey upside his head and say “Pay Attention You Little FuzzBucket!”.

By Tits Magoo on 08/21/2007 at 5:00 pm -

Nut huggin’ punk ass monkey! I hate you.

By Mr. Cruel on 08/21/2007 at 7:02 pm -

It’s me Mr. Cruel again…I just wanted to say, I want to “Michael Vick” that little monkey for stealing oranges from our trees.

By bgwjerk on 08/21/2007 at 7:07 pm -

FYI - FuzzBucket was a FAILED disney made for TV movie in the mid-80’s trying to ride ALF’s coattails.

By Big Al on 08/22/2007 at 9:32 am -

i wonder what chewbacca jr is looking at or do you think he’s just recounting all those wild exploits and adventures he’s had and after all that crazy monkey sex and drinking, he finally had the time to sit, eat an orange, and just reflect… poor chewy jr. there’s just so much that he has to live up to. i mean chewbacca was the man, a household name. “how could i ever live up to the name” he must be thinking… maybe that’s why he seems so sad… eating that orange… or maybe he’s just out of bananas and eating an orange, while it may sustain him for now, it’s just a big letdown, just look at his facial expression.

By nutchucker on 08/22/2007 at 1:03 pm -

Why does a google ads for “hybrid spider monkey” point to some car company?!!

By admin on 08/22/2007 at 2:05 pm - <- Administrator

Not sure … At one point the Google ad said “Monkey for Sale”, which i thought was pretty funny. Also “Free Blood Orange Tree” which was dumb.

By AVH on 08/26/2007 at 9:35 pm -

If OOTD is SOL, can you at least make the monkey do ATM?

By admin on 08/27/2007 at 9:12 am - <- Administrator

That monkey is incorrigible. You think we can get him to do something as sophisticated as ATM? You must be out of your gourd!

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