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Watch Out... The Furry Jerk Has Stolen My Shoes!

Monday, April 13th, 2009 4:00 am by RCW

I will STOMP your freakin’ head in!!!
- The Furry Jerk

The Furry Jerk has GREAT taste. He loves his New Balance 992 shoes for running and doing burpees. Unfortunately, he will also use the shoes for dastardly acts, such as caving in your cranium via a “curb stomp”.

Curb Stomping (or curbing): the act of taking a victim’s head and forcefully making the person bite a cement curb, then stomping on the back of the head.


Don’t think we’re serious?!?!

Think of the damage Edward Norton’s character performed on that poor car thief in the famous “curb stomping” scene in the film American History X (1998).

Now that’s the level of violence we’re expecting when the Furry Jerk is “on the prowl” with his New Balance 992 shoes on. We often say he’s like Michael Jackson — he’s DANGEROUS!!

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[…] the Furry Jerk wears New Balance 992 running shoes […]

[…] You’re probably asking yourself, “What does receiving this type of P.H.D entail? Can I command a higher salary? Can I write prescriptions with a Pumpkin Head Deluxe?”. Well, of course you can silly! Unfortunately, before all that occurs, the Furry Jerk will have to violently pummel the living snot out of your face until your head swells to the size of a pumpkin. He may even throw in a FREE curbing. […]


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