Here’s how to workout when you’re strapped for cash and can’t afford gym fees:

1. Go to your kitchen and rummage through your utensil drawers.
2. Find 5-6 spoons and/or forks.
3. Wrap them together with some “Rape Tape” (duct tape).
4. Repeat Steps 2 & 3 until you have two “dumb” bells.
5. Head down to your dingy, rat-infested basement.
6. Insert an old cassette tape into a dilapidated 80’s style cassette tape player.
7. Queue up the song “Like a Prayer” by Madonna and press “Play”.
8. Blast the music as you start doing bicep curls with your makeshift dumbbells.
9. Feel the burn as you start to get into the workout.
   IMPORTANT NOTE: Please don’t feel self-conscious when your Mom comes down to the basement to fold laundry because she’ll probably enjoy what’s going on.